Sure, flowers are nice and chocolate is always a must, but that’s not exactly what I want for Mother’s Day. It’s kinda funny/sad because the things I want do not involve those little people that actually made me a mother 😉 They actually don’t involve my spouse either. That might seem a little harsh but the truth sometimes sucks! Of course I want them most of the time, but this day is all about ME! Mom’s can be selfish twice a year (birthday & Mother’s day) because we have no choice not to be the rest of the year (and I wouldn’t trade it for the world).
So listen up men! When you ask your wife what she wants for Mother’s Day, here is what she REALLY wants. Actually, you won’t even need to ask her. I’ve got it written all out here for you. And most of it is FREE! You’re welcome.
- SLEEP!!! We just want to be able to sleep in and not be woken up by screaming children, taps on the forehead, slaps on the face, body slams on our stomach, and the loud snores from our husbands. Just QUIETLY slide out of bed, gather the children together as QUIETLY as you can and go downstairs far far away from sleeping mommy. Actually it would be even better if you would just leave the house and bring me back some breakfast. But not before 9 am. Which leads me to number two….
- BREAKFAST IN BED. Please do not try and be cute and have the kids make the meal. I want something GOOD. Preferably a McDonalds breakfast, donuts or french toast from Kneaders. And DO NOT forget the largest Diet Coke you can find. If your wife is a little bit classier than me, get her whatever SHE likes BEST.
- A HOT BATH. After breakfast she’ll probably want to roll (literally roll, don’t judge) and slip into a steamy hot bath with this Bubble bath, they smell phenomenal. Please continue to keep the children far away. We’d actually like to take a bath without a child wanting to hop in with us.
- NEW PAJAMAS. Because we will be wanting to spend all day in them. And I’m talking comfy pajamas. The biggest, softest, most unflattering ones you can find. These ones would be fabulous!
- A MASSAGE. If you give great massages, than that’s wonderful but if you don’t, go ahead and book her one. BUT, if you are going to give her one, just remember that ALL SHE WANTS IS A MASSAGE! Nothing more, nothing less 😉
- CHOCOLATE/COOKIES/CANDY. And not that froo froo crap. A king size Snickers, Reese’s peanut butter cups, Twix or Butterfinger. If you can get it at a gas station, you’re solid. We are not trying to watch our calories that day.
- BINGE WATCHING OUR FAVORITE TV SHOWS. This will tie in nicely with numbers 4 and 6. We would like to watch what WE want All. Day. Long. Remember to continue to keep the children away. We’d like to watch season’s 5-10 of Grey’s Anatomy in silence.
- A SWEET LETTER OR VIDEO. Nothing makes me love my spouse and children more than when they tell me how much they love and appreciate me. That’s really all I need to hear. A love note from your spouse, a fun questionaire that your child can answer about you, or a cute video of your children telling a favorite memory of you. Those gifts are the most memorable and priceless.
So men, there you have it. Simple and sweet. Buttttttt, it wouldn’t hurt at all to slip in a pair of shoes or purse she’s been wanting all year. And if you do all these things, you may even get lucky 😉