We were on cloud 9 and living a relaxed life. The adoption of our son (Heath) gave us the feeling like our family was complete. We had the a gorgeous boy and the most amazing three daughters. Our lives had been so abundantly blessed and our testimonies of The Plan of Salvationhad grown leaps and bounds during the first year of my son’s life. We had seen miracle after miracle. Albert Einstein said “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” We choose the latter… everything is a miracle.
I was sitting in church one April Sunday singing with the congregation. A voice as clear as day whispered to me, “you are not done.” That instant I quickly shut my book and sat there in astonishment. How on earth could I not be done? I had four beautiful kids and my youngest is only 15 months old. BUT I knew what I heard and I couldn’t deny it. Right after church I was frightened to tell Scott but knew I needed to. I told him as we were driving all alone that afternoon. This wonderful man responded, ‘well then… we will have another but in a few years.’ I am pretty sure if he would have told me that, I would have giggled and said I’m pretty darn positive we are DONE.
Two weeks hadn’t passed and I got a text from Heath’s biological family asking to come visit this week. It wasn’t completely out of the ordinary so I wasn’t nervous. The day came and Scott had forgotten he had another commitment so I met with them alone. It was low key, I invited them all over to my house. As we were greeting each other I asked them if anything was new in their lives? They all got very quiet and looked around at each other. You know the awkwardness? I was a little weirded out but just waited patiently as she slowly but SURELY announced to me that bio mom was indeed pregnant….and with a girl. My jaw dropped, I’m pretty sure they had to pick it up off the ground. My mind was racing but I did pick up on the fact that they just said GIRL!! Which meant that she was at least about half way done. I was sweating from every pore. I believe my exact words to them were…’It just got extremely hot in here I need to open up all the doors.’
I was pretty sure I knew why they were giving me this information but I wanted to be 100% certain. So I asked with the upmost respect ‘what are you wanting me to do with this information?’ They said, ‘well we would love for you to take her but in NO way is there any pressure.’ I was sick! I could not believe I was hearing this news alone. I quickly gave my husband a little text which read……She is pregnant. My phone as fast I hit send ding with a receiving text…WHAT?? this isn’t really something you say over a text message!
Those next few months had my mind filled with every thought you could possibly imagine. Scott and I had much pillow talk about what would be best for our family, the pros and the cons, and every what-if scenario until that child was 100. And there was never a definitive answer that we could come up with. We prayed, fasted, went to the temple to pray, spoke to our parents, our friends, and our children to try and find an answer. For every pro there was a con and for every right reason there was a wrong reason. BUT in the back of my mind I could never get that voice that had cautioned me a couple weeks before. I know it was a miracle and helping ease the shock.
If you were in this position what would you do?
P.S. Here is a good read regarding Foster Care….Welcome to the Rollercoaster