It has been a whirlwind of CRAZY at my house since we brought home our little princess. BUT CRAZY perfect. 5 kids blew my mind. All of my kids are well adjusted and doing great but I think having 3 older daughters that need to be ran around town with Gymnastics, Dance, and Piano Lessons… while still having 2 babies that need diapers changed, fed, bottles, and naps… have just done me in a bit. Yet, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I am sure many of you who have been following along are just dying to find out what is going on with baby girl- ‘ Charlee.’ If you are new to my journey you can start HERE. While visiting with the birthmother, we were told that they have the same dad….not too sure about that. With the court system, if a ‘father’ signs a birth certificate than he is indeed considered to be the ‘father’. There are no paternity tests needed. While we went through this process with Heath, a ‘father’ signed the birth certificate which meant that we had go through both the paternal and the maternal sides of the families to see if any family member wanted to step forward for custody. This upset us at the time because our son could have been claimed by some stranger that may not even actually be the father.
Now with Charlee, no one signed the birth certificate. So now the courts have to search and wait to see if the sperm donor happens to step forward. I am not sure really how they do this… maybe they post something in the newspaper or something??? I apologize for some of my sick humor… I have to try and find ways to vent some of my frustrations. No one will probably come forward so we are in the process of terminating parental rights (TPR) on the father.
As far as birthmother goes, she tried signing away her rights in the hospital. It was so hard for me to hear her ask the case worker… for her to explain how she is having trouble taking care of herself and couldn’t possibly care for this baby. The system would not allow her to sign away her rights. I am sure many of you are wondering ‘WHY in the world would they deny someone who is begging to sign away their rights.’ My thoughts exactly, but there are so many legalities due to prior lawsuits that they must wait until the birthmother is no longer in a detrimental state of mind. The social worker asked her if she could attend a court date a week later and at that time she could let the judge know of her desires.
The court date came and left and she was not able to make it to court. So the red tape and long process has now begun. A month later, the next court date was postponed because the court failed to properly summon the birthmother. So they rescheduled the court date for this past September 22. The judge granted to ‘waive reasonable rights’ on the birth mother. Which in layman’s terms basically means a faster version of TPR because she has already had a TPR of a previous child and has failed to show up for court dates. I am so grateful for this, otherwise it would probably be months for the TPR to be processed.
Now we are here waiting for a TPR to prayerfully happen quickly on the ‘father.’
Many people have asked me if I sleep at night or if I am in constant worry with all of the ‘what-ifs.’ I have to be honest with you… I do not worry. I guess that I am starting to really learn to just put it all in my Heavenly Father’s hands. If I begin to worry (which is hardly ever) then I truly get a stomach ache. This child IS mine and it would be as though my child died if they took her from me. So I try to never allow myself to get there. Plus, I believe, faith and fear can not coexist at the same time. I have faith that all will work out how it is supposed to. And… Scott already has complete exit plans to skip to foreign countries well figured out.