Before we (my husband and I) even started the foster care classes, my biggest fear was the questions and thoughts of others. I know, ridiculous right? But it is true. And to be honest those fears were mostly from the people closest to me. I am only speaking for myself on this but as a foster parent I am okay with people asking questions, 1. because I want the stigma of foster parenting to be erased and 2. because I hope to spark an interest in others to possibly make the decision to foster. This is not the answer for all foster family’s. Many foster mothers I have spoken with get very upset with the way people ask. I on the other hand just feel people sometimes don’t know how to ask the questions so it comes out a little….insensitive.
How do you do it? I couldn’t handle them leaving, I would get too attached.
I can’t either and I too get too attached. If I don’t get attached, I am doing it wrong. These children deserve all of our love. They didn’t choose this life. I am an adult and can handle suffering, they will suffer and have suffered much more.
Probably the question I HATE the most. What do you think I don’t have any feelings or a heart? The answer is the exact opposite. I have such a love for these children, I can’t bear to not want to help all of them.
Don’t you worry about your biological children hurting if they leave?
Children have a fabulous ability to bounce back. I have more of a fear of my children not learning to love others, serve others, sacrifice their own wants for someone else’s, and learning to pray and have faith in the Lord and His plan.
Are they all yours?
Every single one. They are mine until the Lord has another plan.
Luckily for me, my 3 biological children look completely different and I have one very dark, one very white, and one in the middle. So I was already prepped for the question, are you the mom? What nationality are these children?
Will you adopt them?
If I am allowed, of course!
There are many avenues that must be put in place prior to adoption. The Department of Family Services gives the biological parents every opportunity to get their lives in order to be reunified with their children. It can take many months to years.
Do you have any of your own?
I have three biological, if that is what you are asking. BUT, they are all my own. I love each one the same.
What’s their story? What happened to their parents?
There are many privacy issues while being in the foster care system. It protects these children who have been so validated as well as their biological parents.
Was it drugs?
I feel that is a conversation that is unfair to my child to divulge without their approval. No one deserves a stigma placed on them.
Why did you get into foster care?
Because I love children and have always had the desire to make a difference in this world. You can find my whole journey and how it all started and the why’s HERE.
Did you name them?
We have given them nicknames that will be their name if we adopt them. But they are given names at birth by their biological parents. If we adopt them on their new birth certificate will be the name we have given them.
Can you love a foster child as much as a biological child?
From the moment I laid eyes on my “foster” babies I had the exact overwhelming feelings I had with each of my bio children. Heavenly Father has a miraculous way of giving mothers and fathers the ability to love each child that is ours wether we birthed them or did not. I have a rough time when people compare the way they love their child to the way someone who adopts or fosters a child. I can guarantee you there is absolutely NO difference. 99% of my life I forget my two adopted children were adopted and not my biological children. There is no difference in my love or feelings toward them.